Ava loved being in her angel wings. She wore them with her best dresses, she wore them with nothing. They made an appearance on most days until they became tired and tatty and Mason did what Mason does and broke them. I remember the tears that followed and me dutifully going to buy her another pair.
I was telling Tegan a story today over email..how one night I could hear Ava in the room next door thudding around and getting very cranky over something. It continued for a while so I went in and saw her standing in the middle of the coffee table, frown firmly plastered. I asked "Ava, what's wrong?" to which she replied, frustrated, "Mum, I just can't do it". So, asking what "it" was, she then replied "I just can't fly".
I once posted here some images of her jumping on the lounge and told how when I said "Ava, stop jumping", she replied with "I'm not jumping Mummy, I'm flying". My post ended with the words "Soar, sweet child, soar". As we released balloons the day of her funeral and stood watching them fade away, I spoke the same words.
These images were taken 14 days before she left. I wandered past and saw her standing on a chair, just staring out the window. She wasnt' saying anything, there was really nothing to look at from there, but she appeared so thoughtful, and beauty full, in her wings and tiara. I actually went and got the camera and Crayton to come and see her - there was such serenity in her at that moment. I could only get a couple before she saw me and the moment was gone. I'm so glad I captured it.
I miss my girl today. I miss her every single day but yesterday has passed and all I can think is today, I miss her more. And it will be the same tomorrow. It just is.
S xx
Monday, July 21, 2008
Soar.
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55 comments:
soar. and sore.
hugs, as useless as they are, are headed your way.
I believe you with all my heart Sheye.
She is flying, sending all that love your way.
Hope tomorrow brings another happy memory of your angel.
wishing all our wishes could bring her home to you...
Thank you for sharing that beautiful entry for your beauty full angel with wings that carry her every now. The super princess soars and her life touches us like the wind.
::hugs::
She's just breathtaking Sheye.
x
Indeed it is Sheye, indeed it is.
Always in my thoughts and heart,
Dxxxxx
Oh Sheye....she's so beautiful.
It just is.
Xx
Ava is so beautiful and beauty full and the images are gorgeous.
I understand that pain and the way you are feeling. I've been MIA as I move into year two without Hannah. I've been checking in, just too busy to say "hi".
HUGS, Sheye!
I believe with all my heart that she saw things a different way than we all see things in this world Sheye. Saw things we could never see...believed things we could never believe. She was extraordinary and now her wings will never be broken. They will always be with her and she will always have the ability to fly...
"My daughter asked me how to fly, never thinking she could not learn. She thinks I have the recipe for flight. So we climb a tree and watch the evening sky. And wait for the necessary ingredients." #309
x K
She was and is, always, beauty full.
Beautiful photos... she was such a gorgeous little girl. My heart breaks for your family everyday.
she is so beauty full sheye....what sweet moments captured for always. your darling ava will always hold a special place in my heart....
no words can make you feel better and i don't know what to say. but just know that i am always praying for you and your beauty full family.
tara
in that picture...she was soaring. you can see it.
she is so beautiful.
Sometimes the only word that comes to mind when I look at pictures of Ava is "Enchanting." There is something about her that comes through even in pictures that makes you realize how special and magical she was and is. I imagine that she gets to fly all she wants now. Thanks for sharing yet another special memory.
Thinking of you and your beautiful Ava. She is a perfect angel now.
Wish I could do "something" to help you during these days, Sheye.
Sending you love as every day, but some extra as August arrives.
Warm Hugs
tears as always and many hugs for my kiddos.
what beautiful images.
Beauty Full.XXXXX
there are no words. i simply cannot wrap my head and heart around it. i just stare at her picture and think over and over, "just fourteen days". i can only believe that she is soaring. she finally learned how to fly.
AVA IS SO PRECIOUS! SHE HAS TOUCHED MY HEART AS WELL! I feel like I know her from your beautiful photos and posts! knowing her, has made me cherish my own girls just a little more! hugs!!
She is Beautiful! what a blessed girl to have a mother such as yourself to continually give her life, and what a blessed mother to have been given such a precious soul as AVA!
Those pictures of Ava are the most devine thing I think I have ever seen.
Love to you all- especially on the extra hard days
Meganxx
Sheye, each time I see a new photo of sweet Ava I love her more, and you more for sharing them. This is beauty full. Truly.
Thank you.
jules xo
Ava is enchanting, captivating and everything that is Beauty Full.
Sheye, please know that you and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Lots of love
Elise
Sheye, Ava truly is beauty full!
Where did that come from 'beauty full'? So cute!
Thanks for sharing the pics with us all.
Carissa :)
P.S. can't wait to start 'Explore' so i can take some gorgeous photos too.. You are such a GREAT photographer!
I was out of town over the weekend on a great houseboat trip and couldn't wait to get back to see your blog and thankfully it was about sweet Ava. I can't imagine how deep the 'missing Ava' goes. I don't know how you breathe somedays. I can't say it enough sheye you are an amazing woman. You could choose to keep Ava all to yourself, but instead you share her with us. I know that's got to be hard to do somedays but at the same time it's got to be helpful. We all love you Sheye and send hugs and kisses and soaring wings of support for you.
Love, Denise xoxoxox
:)s...
l,
d
What a beautiful picture of Ava.
Thinking of you and your family,
Love,
Tania
She's gorgeous.
My heart goes out to you.
She is completely devestatingly beautiful. The way she looks, the way you describe her. Your words and her life will never stop encouraging mothers around this world to put down their book, close their computer, stop folding laundry and pull their children closely to them. She is so important.
Thanks for sharing.
My heart just goes out to you...what precious, breathtaking images.
Biggest hugs.
Tamara
I found your blog through a friend and am so glad I did. I love your photography. I feel unbelievably sad for you too - even though we have never met. I just can't imagine your pain. I admire that you can share it here. Your daughter is a perfect little angel.
Alison
Words just can not express the hurt that you must be feeling each and everyday. Sending my love and thoughts your way. An Angel soaring up above may she always fly and soar and surround you in love.
Breathtaking. I just wish somehow she could fly home to you; she's absolutely stunning. {{Hugs}}
Those pictures show what a beautiful angel she really is!
what a special moment. Fly little wing xx
I am so glad you captured it too Sheye..the sweetness of this moment, the thoughful way she is looking out the window perhaps figuring out how she could fly..
thank you for sharing.
j
What a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing all of these precious moments with each of us.
Love,
Chesnye
gosh, Sheye, I'm so crap with words, never know what to say, so I think it's best I don't say anything at all except to say I think you are amazing.
Ps, I've tagged you, check my blog for details - sorry!
What a beauty.... and yes, she IS soaring.
Life here on Earth is just a drop in an Endless Sea, Sheye... I know you know that... and soon, in just a tiny blink of your eye, you and your precious Ava-Angel will be reunited.... and you will be able to soar TOGETHER... and will never, ever be separated again. Rest in that knowledge today.
Blessings and Peace to you.
I love reading your posts and seeing your amazing pictures.
Your post, your pictures, your words and your daughter are precious. Thank you for sharing.
Lindsey in San Diego
So bittersweet Sheye. Your images of Ava are beautiful. You are amazingly open and kind to share yourself, happy or sad, with us. It's so brave of you and I admire you so very much. Your children, all four, are awfully lucky to have you.
She looks like a tiny doll on that big chair. So pretty. I love your blog, all of it.
what a girl.
what a mummy.
hey Sheye...
what a beautifully written post. I too will never understand - and my heart will continue to break for you. Thinking of you with love and friendship always,
l
She is amazingly beautiful!
Breathtaking words and photos!!!!!
lea (UK)
I hope you are ok Sheye - we haven't seen you all week and I'm guessing you're busy, busy, busy.
Looking forward to the workshops, Vanessa ♥♥
I bought my very first dSLR too!!! Very, very excited:)
What precious photos. Ava truly is beauty full - she is soaring above you, keeping watch.
My heart breaks for you. She is the angel in the photo. She can fly.
Words escape me, she looks so angelic in those photos. xx
I found your blog a few months ago. I cried and cried as I read entry after entry. And I smiled. And I pulled my little people closer.
Your experience has touched me deeply. Your incredible Ava, your images of her and the sincere expressions of your heart always shape my day and make me a better parent. Thank you.
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